Everyday is precious!

I'm not particularly sure why I am writing a blog, I guess I wanted to share my life stories. Perhaps when you read this, you might understand the way I see the world, and why I see it that way? An awful lot has happened this year, I can't keep up with my life most of the time, remember what day it is, what I'm supposed to be doing. Losing a loved one does strange things to you!

Its odd how you remember specific things isn't it? The phone call my mum had to make to me one bank holiday Monday was just that, my mum had phoned to tell me that my step-dad had been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease, and that it was terminal. Your initial reaction is shock, why Dad? Why someone so innocent and beautiful inside and out, why someone who has been nothing but hard working, loyal, kind and generous all his life? Why not someone who deserves to suffer and rot in hell? As the months went on, I saw someone go from living his life to the full, to not being able to eat a real meal anymore. I cannot express how heartbreaking it is to watch someone you love, not being able to enjoy their favorite meal anymore, over fear they may choke. That being said, I also can't express how important it is that if you have the chance, take a First Aid Course, you  take it, you may well just save someone's life. One afternoon, I believe I did just that.

My dad was doing his usual, he'd managed a tiny bit of food at dinner and was enjoying a cup of hot water, whilst reading the newspaper, catching up on his diary. My mum had popped over to our new house in preparation for us moving in, in a few weeks time and that she wouldn't be particularly long, maybe 30 minutes or so and could I keep an eye on dad. Fear hit me, what if something happens? I explained to my dad that I would keep my bedroom door open and that I would keep my headphones off, so if something were to happen I'd be there for him. He did his usual "I'll be alright" so up I go, 5 minutes later, I can hear choking, I've never been so terrified in all my life. Your initial reaction is to be scared, there was really no time for that, my dad was scared and he needed me fast. All I can see in front of me is my First Aid Instructor explaining to me how you help someone who is choking/got something stuck in their throat, this wasn't practice, this was real. Trying to keep someone calm when you are on the verge of crying is one of the hardest things you can do, as to not put fear in them. I believe I saved my dad's life that day and I believe I helped him save his life too by getting him to relax enough that his muscles relaxed for him to breathe clearly until another attack happened. I remember my dad later telling my mum how brave he thought I had been and how thankful he was, I mean this, I'd do if for anyone there is no question about it.

I'm thankful to my dad, due to this experience, I'd decided I wanted to do a charity Skydive for Motor Neurone Disease, they do one every June called Jumpfest. I'd always wanted to do a Skydive so figured doing it for charity was the best of both worlds. I managed to raise over £800 for Motor Neurone Disease, if you donated and continue to donate to this cause, I am so thankful, it means the world, help us fight! People quite often say to me "Your crazy, why would you jump from 10,000ft?, wasn't it scary?" There are many reasons why I wasn't scared that day, one being that, it was a beautiful day, blue sky, all week it was rainy and cloudy and on the day I jumped it was blue sky until the moment I was on the ground again, my instructors told me we were lucky as the wind was about to change (you can't jump anything over 24mph as it's too dangerous), two jumping from a plane isn't scary, I had no right to be scared, imagining what my dad must of gone through everyday when he was trying to deal with Motor Neurone Disease, the fear of choking, falling over because your legs give way underneath you, your whole life is ripped from you, fear of crying because you may choke on your tears. My dad was a remarkable man and was truly inspiring! I'm not scared of anything anymore, I understood what fear was, watching what this disease does to people. When someone can still smile and laugh when they are dealing with this awful disease, it doesn't make them weak, it makes them a hero!

There's a reason why I want to read so many books, try so many foods, watch some many movies, travel to every part of the globe, jump from planes, study loads of subjects, because I know how precious life is, it can be taken in an instant. I know it's not always easy but try and be thankful for everything you have, because some people have it all taken away from them and it's heartbreaking. I'm angry at this disease, I'm determined to find a cure in my lifetime!