Grief doesn't leave overnight!

You know it's funny, it's so easy to think that when someone you love passes, you'll just learn to move on with life, but it's so much easier said then done. Everyone grives differently too, some get angry, some cry, some turn to alcohol or smoking (a way of blocking it out I suppose).

My dad passed away 9 months ago, but let me tell you now that I have by no means learnt to deal with it yet. I go through phases of being absolutely fine, I start to think that I have accepted it, I'm beginning to deal with it when suddenly something will set it off and everything is brought back, memories, the lot! Father's day set it off. This time last year, I was about to do a skydive for Motor Neurone Disease to raise money. My dad was very ill, but he was able to watch me and that to me, means so much. I just remember thinking what could possibly frighten me, when someone I love, is having everything taken from them. He can't eat anymore. He can't drink properly anymore. He looked fear straight in the face and I had no right to be scared of anything. Nine months later, I still believe that I should not be scared of anything because I have no right to after what he went through.

My life changed last September, life suddenly became so precious, I was really opened up to not only how beautiful our world is, but honestly how precious every single little thing is. I don't care how long it takes to make a meal anymore, or what it is, its food, i'm thankful I can still eat, I can still drink, I can still hug those that I love and hold someone's hand. Those that have Motor Neurone Disease have that ripped from them and not necessarily over a period of years either,  but in a matter of weeks and months!! The worse thing is too, is that their loved ones have to watch every minute of it. My whole attitude on life has just completely changed. I've always been thankful, but I really learnt to be thankful.

I honestly hope that they find a cure for MND in my lifetime, because I can't bear the thought of anyone else going through what I have. As a family we do everything we can to raise money for Motor Neurone Disease and I will continue to do so for the rest of my life, until a cure is found!